Doctor Who: The Krynoid PodCast

A museum? On a planet, you say?

Amazingly, that’s just where TARDIS brings Doctor Who and chums in The Space Museum. But the problems here are worse than an expensive gift shop, a blocked urinal or a coach party of feral school kids.

For the planet Xeros is occupied by the moaning Morocks, a race only slightly less pathetic than the indigenous teenage beatniks, among whom subjugation raises barely/only an eyebrow.

And our plucky travellers have problems of their own, chiefly their future starring roles in the most boring tourist attraction since the financially disastrous Sensorites’ Sexy Sashes exhibition.

Our heroes deal with the trauma in their own individual ways though, with the Doctor kipping for an episode, Vicki stirring up the students, Babs having a smoke break and Ian chewing her cardigan.

Will the time travellers evade their fate?

Would you buy a used glass from Vicki?

What day is Nude Day on the TARDIS?

And did Jim and Martin find themselves informed and entertained by The Space Museum or is it just a dusty old relic?

Listen to find out!

The lads also review the audiobooks of The Curse of Peladon and Image of the Fendahl.

You can also find this and many other Krynoid PodCast episodes on Spotify.

Direct download: KP133_The_Space_Museum.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 9:25pm UTC
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A bit of holiday advice from the Green Cathedral: better a staycation in Blighty than a sojourn on Uxarieus, a planet more miserable than Raymond Cusick at a Dalek memorabilia auction.

But this monochrome blob of clay is surprisingly sought after, with hairy hippies and corporate breadheads alike fighting to the death over it. And perhaps the indigenous residents might even feel they have a claim to the land. Not that anyone cares about that, of course.

As well as providing mud, rain and a single flower, Uxarieus offers a mother lode of the very mineral that the twelvty squillion residents of 25th Century Earth desperately need and the very eff-off WMD the Master evilly craves.

So, to this end, the future Rev Magister pretends to be an Adjudicator while the wiggy Cap'n Dent tries to put the willies up the colonists with rubbish robots and home videos of his pet gecko.

Throw in a crap puppet, prune-faced priests, over-Botoxed primitives and a prescient nod to a taboo TV host and we have something of a carnival of monsters.

But did Jim and Martin warm to the wet February clay pit that is the Colony In Space or did it leave them colder than Terry Walsh's wobbly bits?

Listen to find out!

We also review the audiobooks of The Cybermen and Paradise Towers.

Find us on Spotify too.

Listener feedback for this story can be found here.

 

Direct download: KP132_Colony_in_Space.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 2:48pm UTC
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As travel restrictions relax, maybe it’s time to give Cully’s Adventures Unlimited a whirl?

His ship’s a bit of a squeeze but the elderly Lothario can secretly sail you to the enticing Island of Death with its distinctive countryside, prestigious museum and friendly fellow tourists, The Dominators.

Their Quarks are as cheesy as they sound – and they sound ridiculous. Nevertheless they’re more than capable of duffing up the docile Dulkians, who are wetter than a Sea Devil’s shower cap.

TV’s Brian Cant offers some resistance for a while but then departs for a smoke so it’s up to Jamie, Zoe, the Doctor and some other bloke dressed as the Doctor to save the day.

But what the heck is a rob’t?

Will Rago and Toba ever seek marriage guidance?

What did Cully witness when Jamie climbed that ladder?

And did The Dominators recharge Jim and Martin’s batteries or leave them as demoralised as a person pretending to be a dummy of a person?

Listen to find out!

Also available on Spotify.

Direct download: KP131_The_Dominators.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 6:32pm UTC
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Many of you may still be locked up with your family but, with any luck, your house-mates don’t include a glowing alien skull, a gun-toting Teuton and a creepy occultist.

Even Benylin Bandersnatch’s mum would be of little comfort, haunted as she is by a noisy, slimy creature (named Adam Colby).

The TARDIS team come to the rescue but K9’s lost his voice, Leela’s lost some of her hair and the Doctor’s lost his ability to distinguish Jelly Babies from Liquorice Allsorts.

Luckily, the Tylers (not those Tylers!) are on hand to dispense cake, rock salt and Mummerset premonitions.

But did Image of the Fendahl give Jim and Martin a burst of primal power or suck out their collective life-force?

Listen to find out!

We also review the audiobooks of The Five Doctors and The Daemons.

Also available on Spotify.

Direct download: KP130_Image_of_the_Fendahl.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 7:15pm UTC
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Feeling trapped in your home with limited entertainment and an uncertain world outside?

Well maybe you can sympathise with the residents of Paradise Towers – a horrible high-rise housing low-rent war machines, an apparently tin Hitler, omnivorous OAPs and TV’s most amateur and least dramatic junior AmDram group.

The Doctor wants answers, Mel wants a dip and Kroagnon wants a mass eviction order. Familiarly, it’s reds versus blues with the yellows invisible (robot crabs included).

So did Paradise Towers build Jim and Martin’s happiness high or did they feel unalive by the end of it all?

Listen to find out!

Also available on Spotify

Direct download: KP129_Paradise_Towers.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 10:14am UTC
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As our next episode (Paradise Towers) will be later than usual and as many of you will have more time than usual to kill, we’ve dredged up something from our past as a piece of additional Lockdown content.

Back in March 2017, the Blue Box Podcast kindly invited us and others to contribute to their 250th episode. We weighed in with a 20 minute review of the 1993 Children in Need charity special, Dimensions in Time.

You can watch Dimensions in Time here.

If you didn’t catch our review first time around, or would like to here it again, here it is. Also available on Spotify.

All the Blue Box Podcasts can be found on iTunes, etc. but, as you may know, the team have since regenerated into the Strangers in Space podcast – well worth subscribing to and also available on iTunes.

Stay safe.

Direct download: KP_Extra_-_Dimensions_in_Time.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 1:16pm UTC
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With all of us seeing rather too much of our immediate locales at the moment, what better time to come with us on a voyage through old Cathay?

That said, our TARDIS team may have preferred to self-isolate from their travelling companions – a thieving Venetian and a Machiavellian Mongol.

On this trip of a lifetime, our magic caravanners must face frostbite, poisoning, thirst, a surfeit of sand and some interpretive dance.

The Doctor gets hysterical, Susan gets a friend, Ian gets a go at cherchez la femme and it all gets a bit dicey for Babs.

Will the Doctor ever get back the keys to his caravan?

Does the TARDIS carry a dehumidifier?

Will the great Kublai Khan resort to Cathayan viagra to escape his wife?

And did the trip broaden the minds of Jim and Martin or leave them saddle sore?

Listen to find out!

Direct download: KP128_Marco_Polo.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 3:26pm UTC
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In need of a holiday in these trying times?

Where better than Space Fawlty Towers on the nuke-shagged planet of Argolis?

Answer: almost anywhere.

For The Leisure Hive is a place where reptiles skin up, guests are dismembered and squash players lose their balls.

Romana gets a new lab partner, the Doctor gets an old face and K9 regrets his attempt to become a salty sea dog.

The First Lady doesn’t bat a green eyelid when her husband spills his seed and dies. Instead she hooks up with her fancy (hu)man, spends a lot of time sprawled on a table and ends up with a baby.

Is Pangol Prentis’s apprentice?

What girdles do the Foamasi use and where can we get some?

And did The Leisure Hive give Jim and Martin a new lease of life or make them feel older than Santa Tom?

Listen to find out!

Also available on Spotify.

Direct download: KP12720Leisure20Hive.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 6:42pm UTC
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So you want to continue your successful show but need to recast your leading man. What do you do?

Why you make it as difficult as possible for your bemused audience to accept him, of course!

The Power of the Daleks sees impish impostor Pat Troughton cackling evilly, talking about himself in the third person and doing his very best to disingratiate himself with the good cop / bad cop companions, Polly and Ben.

Luckily there are some seemingly servile Daleks to distract their attention, along with some crafty colonists, an increasingly mad professor and Vulcan’s worst ever spy.

Polly wears shorts, the Doctor wears a silly hat, and Ben wears down everyone’s nerves with his unmanaged anger.

Does Valmar desire dominatrices?

Who would win in a fight between Hartnell and Troughton?

Will the Doctor’s recorder soon be in need of a rinse?

And did Jim and Martin find the new bloke a refreshing change or more like a fart in the face from a mercury swamp?

Listen to find out!

Also available on Spotify.

Direct download: KP125_Power_of_the_Daleks.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 7:39pm UTC
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We start 2020 with an ending.

Loathe him or hate him, Adric has been a big part (prat?) of 80s Who but all things must pass, however indigestible.

Yes, this is Earthshock, which packed a couple of major bombshells back in the day (not counting Beryl Reid). It’s a tale of pointless deaths, some equally pointless characters and gender fluid troopers (many of them genuinely fluid by the time the murderous mime act has finished with them).

The Doctor promotes fine dining, Tegan packs heat, Nyssa plays house and Adric ploughs into the Diplodocidae. Meanwhile, it’s all bonuses and bollockings from Beryl and her long-suffering lackey can’t even sell out his own planet properly. Luckily Scott musters more machismo in his moustache than in Ringway’s whole body but cringing Kyle goes from gung-ho to agoraphobic at the drop of a boiler suit.

So were Jim and Martin wildly cheering or weeping inconsolably by the end of it all?

Listen to find out.

Also available on Spotify.

Direct download: KP125_Earthshock.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 1:19pm UTC
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