"Never trust a man with dirty fingernails."

...Or a face like a Shar Pei's nether regions.

Especially if he exacerbates London's rodent problem, takes advantage of young scrubbers and test-drives prototype orgasmatrons.

Yes, this is The Talons of Weng-Chiang - a strange (Robert) Holmesian melodrama where people pop poison pills, ventriloquist dummies are hands-free and Birmingham has cornered the Chinese firearms market.

Leela takes some clothes, the Doctor takes a boat trip, Jago takes fright and Litefoot takes delivery of a surprise hamper, while Chang prestidigitates, Mr Sin recidivates and a mad old crone expectorates.

So do Jim and Martin think this is a superlative specimen of Seventies sci-fi or do they smell a rat?

Find out here.

"I hate conducted tours."

Dodo single-handedly sows the seeds of the Doctor Who Experience's eventual demise, way back in 1966.

This month we find ourselves in a land where greedy leaders feather their own nests at the expense of the downtrodden underclass. And it's much the same in Doctor Who's The Savages, screened some 52 years ago (badum tish!)

The Doctor is drained, Steven is ordained and Dodo is reined-in on a world where the big city holds no attraction for our clan of outsiders, a bunch of sapped saps with their very own cheeky girl (but mercifully no Lembit Opik).

Who else gets to use the Doctor's vibrator? Did Jano and his mates manage to video The Daleks' Master Plan? Who's producing destructive vapours and shouldn't their diet be looked at? 

And did Jim and Martin find The Savages to be a shot in the arm or an enervating experience?

Tune in to find out.

"Let's make this baby fly!"

Said the uncool and un-Welsh Welsh rock 'n' roller Billy, who refrains (perhaps disappointingly) from drop-kicking the Chimeron child over the Shangri-La camp's Olympic size swimming pool.

Yes, it's time to take a look at the distinctly odd Delta and the Bannermen, a tale of a baffling bee-keeper, unnecessary Americans, a shot-down stand-up and life-size plastic soldiers with lockjaw.

When will Ray realise that she's barking up the wrong tree? When will Billy realise he's sniffing around the wrong species? Will the Bannermen have a whip round to get Gavrok a barbecue? And can the Flying Pickets achieve further chart success now their leader has been reduced to smoking footwear?

Don't expect to find the answers here as Jim and Martin struggle to decide whether to mark the story hi-de-high or hi-de-low.