Mon, 15 October 2012
"Take them to the Security Kitchen!"
Perhaps the Universe's only combined containment and mass catering facility can be found on The Ark, the location of the 1966 Hartnell space opera of the same name.
Jim and Martin walk its corridors to find humans in their underwear and the Fab Four (along with the Groovy One, the Trendy Two and the Gear Three), all suffering horrendously bad hair days.
The Doctor gets an invisible friend, Steven fails to notice a potential girlfriend and Dodo is unlikely to make any new friends, bearing as she does a vile infection and a variable accent.
Is the future of Mankind in safe hands or should the weirdly affable Boris Karloff and the Richard III wannabe keep one eye on the Monoids? Find out here...
Wed, 19 September 2012
"Do you think bullets could stop me now? You stinking offal Morgus! Look at me!!"
So says a man in a gimp suit deep in the blowholes of Androzani Minor. Yes, Jim and Martin take a look at Peter Davison's last hurrah and finest hour as he goes through hell to save Peri in the 1984 classic The Caves of Androzani.
There's soldiers, gunrunners, androids, a rubbish monster, a revenge-seeking hairy-handed, Peri-infatuated madman and an evil and ruthless bag of slime. Can the Doctor weave his way through them all and save Peri? Only just...
Is it as good as its reputation suggests? Listen in and find out.
Wed, 22 August 2012
"Harry Sullivan is an imbecile!"
Harsh words perhaps but the salty surgeon did nearly kill the Doctor… twice.
Yes, it's the 1975 space opera, Revenge of the Cybermen, in which our intrepid TARDIS team battle a slimy U-Boat commander, an emotional silver giant and a horde of mad blinged-up old women.
The Doctor's narcoleptic, Harry's apoplectic and Sarah may well go septic so take the slow train with Jim and Martin and see whether all that glitters is gold.
Tue, 17 July 2012
Just Brigadier Winifred Bambera's catchphrase or also a two-word review of the 1989 Sylvester McCoy story, Battlefield?
You decide as Jim and Martin sit huddled in No Man's Land while iffy dialogue, dodgy acting and poor special effects zing past their tortured eyes and ears, only finding solace in their most puerile running gag yet.
They ponder weighty issues such as the merits of film over video, the mysteries of chemistry, McCoy's anger mismanagement and the messier side of the Brig's descent into senility.
They say all is fair in love and war but is the KP review fair? Listen and decide...
Fri, 22 June 2012
"I always find that violent exercise makes me hungry. Don't you agree?"
Yes, Gallifrey's very own silver-haired and rather wrinkly James Bond is at it again in 1972's salty six-part saga, The Sea Devils.
Jim and Martin marvel as the Doctor frolics above, on and below the sea, Jo fights, frets and flies a hovercraft and the Master shows off most of his wardrobe (string vests strangely absent).
Mr Creosote rolls in from Whitehall and eats everything in his path, Trenchard bores the hind legs off a donkey and Cap'n Hart offs an alarming amount of amphibians.
All that with copious sandwiches thrown in. Who could ask for more from Who?
Mon, 7 May 2012
"Fail me and you will breakfast on burning coals!"
Count Federico introduces Renaissance Italy's hot new diet sensation in the 1976 pseudo-historical epic, The Masque of Mandragora.
The fourth Doctor and Sarah wander round The Village watching look-unlikes fighting and mounting horses, while avoiding executioner's swords, sacrificial knives and cockernee pikemen's pikes.
Gert and Daisy get chained up, the Doctor and Sarah get dressed up and Pat Gorman and Stuart Fell get messed up by the Mandragoran Helix while the light shines out of Hieronymous's eye-holes.
And Dr Phill drops by to give us his expert opinion on the music - made and found - for this one.
Get Jim and Martin's verdict on this 15th Century sword and sorcery spectacular now!
Next up: The Sea Devils