Mon, 14 January 2019
“He says he’s a frog doctor, sir.”
Let’s have some fanfic where the Troughton and Whittaker Doctors combine forces to heal a lonely amphibian universe. Actually… let’s not.
No, this is The Highlanders, where you could be excused for thinking the Doctor’s bizarre accent was French and that his hat was a Goth’s traffic bollard.
It’s a second outing for the second Doctor but 18th Century Scotland fares poorly on Cosmic Trip Adviser, with its dog biscuits, corked wine and one-star wet room. And you’ll find the locals unwelcoming and the English tourists somewhat invasive.
But the TARDIS team do indulge in recreational pursuits. Ben swims, the Doctor headbangs, Jamie toys with his dirk and Polly manages to avoid fifty shades of Solicitor Grey.
But did Jim and Martin think The Highlanders was pure dead brilliant or did it warrant the Ff-bomb?
Listen to find out.
Sun, 23 December 2018
And let's hope it stays merry after listening to Jim and Martin discussing the Series 11 episodes not yet covered in the Krynoid PodCast, and then the series as a whole.
We play out with John Gonzalez's Christmas-tinged rendition of the Doctor Who theme (find it on YouTube https://youtu.be/6KVhSNS_xU8)
Hearty thanks from the Green Cathedral to everyone who's listened, tweeted, retweeted, followed, liked and provided feedback over 2018.
We'll be back in January 2019.
Until then, Happy New Year!
Sat, 15 December 2018
“There’s your monster maker… Caught in the act.”
And lo… Barry Letts did advance upon him, spitting tacks and brandishing a rubber T-Rex, with insertion on his mind.
Yes, this is yer actual Invasion of the Dinosaurs – a tale of double talk, double-crosses and double denim.
The Doctor drives stuff, Sarah discovers stuff and Yates says “Stuff you!” to his UNIT family (and to everyone outside the central London elite bubble).
Have the cast been selectively aged and rejuvenated by Whitaker’s time experiments?
Is the science as shaky as the Whitehall walls? And is it worth gambling your house on?
Will Lis Sladen ever get the underwear she doesn’t need?
And where will Jim and Martin place the story on a scale of Jurassic Park to The Goodies?
To find out the answers to some or none of these questions, listen here.
Thu, 15 November 2018
Well, if you can't stand the ennui, get out of the kitchen.
Yes, we're in the strange and underfunded world of The Celestial Toymaker where the fun barely starts.
The Doctor single-handedly plays the world's worst spectator sport, while Steven and Dodo are forced to tackle 'sighted-man's buff', 'spot the comfy chair' and 'hunt the dramatic tension'. And, if you think Strictly seems to go on forever, try the Toymaker's version, aka They Shoot Time Travellers, Don't They?
Along the way they meet a mute clown, a clown you wish was mute, the 1966 'Mr & Mrs' champions, a cockernee cook, a (low) Quality Street soldier and the copyright-skirting Billy Butner of Greyflyers School.
Dodo reveals that she's all tells and no poker face, Steven tries not to kill everyone in sight (especially Dodo) and the Doctor unleashes his inner Mike Yarwood.
So did Jim and Martin dive into the fun like toddlers on tartrazine or would they have preferred to have joined Hartnell in Bognor?
Find out here.
Mon, 15 October 2018
The unmistakable sound of the bells of Seville (and nothing to do with Peri running down a hillside).
So the JN-T holiday charabanc ends up in Spain in 1985 and his latest jaunt promises country yomps, moth collecting and acid sports, with dinner thrown in – several times over.
The Two Doctors manage to keep out of each other’s way for the most part as Sixie angles for centre stage, leaving his former self to a compulsory makeover, while Peri tries a new accent and Jamie just tries it on.
Meanwhile Shockeye wants the special stuff, Chessene wants special treatment and the superfluous Sontarans await their special appearance with He Who Can No Longer Be Named.
But did the story leave Jim and Martin replete and content or suffering from raging heartburn?
Listen to find out.
Fri, 14 September 2018
“Now go on. Ben can catch his ship and become an Admiral and you, Polly, you can look after Ben.”
The Doctor reminds Ben and Polly they’re back in 1966 – a time (and indeed date) menaced by War Machines, alien shape-shifters, Daleks and gender stereotyping.
They also have to contend with dodgy pilots, aliens with zero personality, lethal haberdashery and a cross-dressing Beatles lookalike.
The Doctor gets the cold shoulder, Jamie gets snogged, Polly gets duplicated and Ben gets lost, while our plucky quasi-companion plays amateur sleuth, armed only with a sharp tongue and a crap hat.
So do Jim and Martin think The Faceless Ones soars into the stratosphere or plummets like a zapped fighter pilot?
Listen to find out.
Thu, 9 August 2018
"Is that finger loaded?"
A good question because nothing is as it seems in Devesham-on-Oseidon.
The horse-brasses are plastic, the dartboard has a functional bullseye and the ginger beer may not be The Real Thing (but its supply is inexhaustible).
Then there's Guy Crayford, who has a spacesuit of vacuum-resistant denim, incomplete underpants and an eye-patch which is purely cosmetic.
And, behind the scenes, the horny Kraals are eager to spread their infection and have been using fake UNIT personnel for practice.
But did Jim and Martin find The Android Invasion to be the real McCoy or as phoney as a Devesham publican?
Find out here.
Sun, 15 July 2018
"You've got some of it on your hands and you didn't tell us anything about it. It was very wrong of you, wasn't it?"
The Doctor makes Barbara feel small with a little ticking off. Fair enough though - she had almost died from the stiffest of upper lips (and a dangerously unbathed ankle).
Eco-whistleblower Arnold Farrow fares even worse with a slug in the chest and a ruined holiday, while his murderer - Mr (D?) Forester - escapes with a burnt aerosol and a bloody nose. But the bloody nosey Hilda and PC Bert save the day.
Ian has a knees-up in a matchbox, Susan shins up a drainpipe and the Doctor's spirits sink in a basin as the regular cast prove there are no small roles, just small actors.
So did Jim and Martin find that good things come in small packages or that size really does matter?
Listen to find out.
Sat, 16 June 2018
"What is this horrendous place?"
Well, Nyssa, it's Terminus - a place to which Bor was presumably drawn by nominative determinism.
It's a drab old hospital where the porters are metal, the doctors are Goths and the burglars are New Romantics.
The Doctor wins a fight, Nyssa loses her skirt and Tegan draws the short straw, what with Turlough staring at her posterior and the extras revealing her upper assets.
Did Olvir train at the Wayne Sleep Combat Academy?
Is the Doctor's creepy CCTV standard TARDIS issue?
Do the Vanir have enough dog poop bags to last until their next Ocado delivery?
And did Jim and Martin find Terminus to be a real tonic or some used Hydromel?
Find out here...
Tue, 15 May 2018
That infamous moment when the first Ogron on the left accidentally reveals his MENSA potential to his masters but no-one bats a shiny eyelid.
Yes, this is Day of the Daleks in which our intrepid TARDIS twosome wine, dine and enjoy a ride, while Yates pulls rank, Benton pulls out of a minor skirmish and the Brig pulls his hair out as he defends world peace from humans and aliens alike while, no doubt, also taking in washing and doing a paper round.
Will the Jeep Pronto ever make it to market?
Why do people keep giving the Controller dirty looks? Is it his personal hygiene? Or is it because the only kid he ever charges for his sweets is poverty-stricken Charlie Bucket?
And why are the Daleks wasting resources on their minions' make-up when their vital attack force wouldn't fill a football team?
Jim and Martin ponder these questions and try to decide whether this is a red-letter day or 24 hours of ennui.
Listen in for their verdict.