Doctor Who: The Krynoid PodCast (general)

So you want to continue your successful show but need to recast your leading man. What do you do?

Why you make it as difficult as possible for your bemused audience to accept him, of course!

The Power of the Daleks sees impish impostor Pat Troughton cackling evilly, talking about himself in the third person and doing his very best to disingratiate himself with the good cop / bad cop companions, Polly and Ben.

Luckily there are some seemingly servile Daleks to distract their attention, along with some crafty colonists, an increasingly mad professor and Vulcan’s worst ever spy.

Polly wears shorts, the Doctor wears a silly hat, and Ben wears down everyone’s nerves with his unmanaged anger.

Does Valmar desire dominatrices?

Who would win in a fight between Hartnell and Troughton?

Will the Doctor’s recorder soon be in need of a rinse?

And did Jim and Martin find the new bloke a refreshing change or more like a fart in the face from a mercury swamp?

Listen to find out!

Also available on Spotify.

Direct download: KP125_Power_of_the_Daleks.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 7:39pm UTC
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We start 2020 with an ending.

Loathe him or hate him, Adric has been a big part (prat?) of 80s Who but all things must pass, however indigestible.

Yes, this is Earthshock, which packed a couple of major bombshells back in the day (not counting Beryl Reid). It’s a tale of pointless deaths, some equally pointless characters and gender fluid troopers (many of them genuinely fluid by the time the murderous mime act has finished with them).

The Doctor promotes fine dining, Tegan packs heat, Nyssa plays house and Adric ploughs into the Diplodocidae. Meanwhile, it’s all bonuses and bollockings from Beryl and her long-suffering lackey can’t even sell out his own planet properly. Luckily Scott musters more machismo in his moustache than in Ringway’s whole body but cringing Kyle goes from gung-ho to agoraphobic at the drop of a boiler suit.

So were Jim and Martin wildly cheering or weeping inconsolably by the end of it all?

Listen to find out.

Also available on Spotify.

Direct download: KP125_Earthshock.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 1:19pm UTC
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In our December episode, Jim and Martin ease themselves into Whuletide by settling down to watch The Black and White Guardian Show.

It’s something of a festive feast, featuring as it does Rudolph the Two-Nosed Shadow, a space Trotter on hols from ver Big Smoke and some props which look suspiciously like they’ve come out of a Christmas cracker (along with some of the jokes).

The wicked Marshal gets advice from his mirror while our fairy tale princess is prepared to be part of a crystal to get the part of Romana. She’s pursued by a man who’s wetter than a Sea Devil’s vest and he’s feebly assisted by another, whose life seems to be redirected halfway through by a visit from three ghosts – presumably Norman Wisdom, Mr Pastry and a Chuckle Brother.

Meanwhile, the Doctor rants, Romana vamps and K9 switches masters as rapidly as TV channels on a bloated Boxing Day.

But did the lads think The Armageddon Factor was a missing piece in their lives or was it the last orange cream in the Quality Street tin of Television?

Listen to find out!

Direct download: KP124_Armageddon_Factor.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 12:00pm UTC
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“No, I shan’t… you shan’t take him!”

Jenny Laird crashes out of the running for her own award in the arachnophobe’s nightmare that is Planet of the Spiders.

It’s a tale of a tweedy traitor, yogic flying, mind-altering jewellery and more creepy crawlies than you can shake a rolled-up newspaper at.

The Brig blushes, Sarah rushes (between two stories) and Mike Yates saves face while the Doctor loses his.

Would you buy a used watch from the Brigadier?

Was Mike Yates already doing exotic dancer exercises?

Can anyone free Lupton’s mandala?

And do Jim and Martin think this story is a Great One or in need of regeneration?

Listen to find out!

Direct download: KP123_Planet_of_the_Spiders.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 10:11pm UTC
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"Mightiest of warriors, greatest in battle, humblest of your servants."

Well they do say learning to love yourself is the greatest love of all, Achilles, but this is tendon towards arrogance.

Yes, this month it's the swords and sandals epic, The Myth Makers, in which Steven gets a new outfit, Vicki gets a new name and the Doctor gets out of a breezy solo flight into the big city.

They meet a jolly Jack Tar, a sotto voce soldier, a shrieking soothsayer and a king who chucks his Troys out of the Priam (yes, we know that doesn't make any sense but Donald Cotton's puns are getting to us).

So is there really a Doctor in the horse?

Will Vicki find true love with the time-weathered teen, Troilus?

And will Jim and Martin award The Myth Makers legendary status or did it ring as hollow as a Trojan Horse?

Listen to find the answer to some of these questions and less.

Direct download: KP122_The_Myth_Makers.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 8:57pm UTC
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"Then die. That is the purpose of guards."

It seems that the life of a vampire's chief henchman is no better than that of an Alzarian milkmaid. No wonder he turned to drink.

This is 1980's State of Decay, eliciting the cheesiest ever episode of this podcast from The Two Who Fool (About).

In a land where rubber bats wheel in an unrealistic green sky, the Doctor stops a door with his nose while Romana prefers to play undead rather than talk to Adric (who walks like he has a second badge for Mathematical Excellence secreted up his fundament).

For a feudal society, there's no shortage of fashion statements. The bloodthirsty local gentry model a nice line in goth cosmetics while their agricultural underlings wear miniskirts, string toupees and beards cannibalised from a busted sofa.

Underneath it all, an enormous Nosferatu makes a breakthrough and gets a big hand.

So do Jim and Martin think this story is a Great One or a big Wasting of time?

Listen to find out.

Direct download: KP121_State_of_Decay.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 12:29pm UTC
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"I've had enough of experts!"

Now there's a phrase with a familiar ring. And Britannicus Base's self-imposed brain drain and dislike of the unlike is sending the UK into chaos. You couldn't make it up.
 

But Brian Hayles did, in 1967's snowy saga The Ice Warriors - a tale of unripe tomatoes, dial-up food machines and a vibro-chair with a shake that brings all the boys to the Medi-Care Centre.

The beards are shaggy, the outfits are short and the science is decidedly dodgy. But worse is to come when a bunch of full-bladdered Martians turn up with their own brand of whispering death, provoking a hissy fit of its own from the sacred Computer.
 
The Doctor's opining, Victoria's whining and Jamie's reclining at the hideout of hairy hippies, Wallace and Isa.

But can Cleggy save the world without the aid of a motorised bathtub?

Will Varga and Zondal end up tying the knot?

Can they tie anything with hands like that?

And did Jim and Martin find the Ice Warriors refreshingly bracing or did it leave them cold?

Listen to find out.
 
Also hear what Jim and Martin think of the BBC audiobooks of The Ice Warriors, The Faceless Ones and Warriors' Gate!
Direct download: KP120_The_Ice_Warriors.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 8:32pm UTC
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"If the rest of his presentation is as riveting as the first little epic, wake me when it’s finished."

The Trial of a Time Lord goes all meta with one of the riskiest lines in Doctor Who history.

The "first little epic" is The Mysterious Planet, in which the Doctor is on remand, Peri (from Marble Arch, USA) is in demand and Joan Sims commands her ragged warriors to carry on dying.

Two cockernee New Romantics go on the rob, two Adric-a-likes get on your nerves and the verbose Valyard swallows a Thesaurus. Meanwhile, the jury’s out (of Voltarol) and the Inquisitor looks like she’d rather be at home making a casserole.

Who on Ravalox is the Doctor impersonating?

How smug can a dead face be?

Where can you get some saucy but artistic robot photos?

And did Jim and Martin give The Mysterious Planet a pardon or did they throw the Three Books of Knowledge at it?

Listen to find out.

Direct download: KP119_Mysterious_Planet.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 6:18pm UTC
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"Nicholas only knows the most boring places."

He's obviously not acquainted with the Doctor's wardrobe then, which contains... Who knows what?


And there's plenty going on in the rest of 16th Century Paris, with a familiar-looking priestly weirdo, a companion's possible ancestor and man-hungry sectarian rats.

The Doctor may or may not be in the house but Steven finds that Preslin, the King of germinology, has definitely left the building.

What's the Doctor hiding about his mysterious continental city break?

Does what happens in Paris stay in Paris?

Should Chaplet or Chaplet get a ride in the TARDIS?

Did Jim and Martin find The Massacre a mind-broadening trip or a four-part death sentence?

And what did Peter Purves think of The Massacre and his time on the show?

Listen to find out.

Direct download: KP118_The_Massacre.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 8:05pm UTC
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“There should’ve been another way.”

Yup. But when you only have a couple of days, £37.50 and a two-man human centipede, you will inevitably end up with 1984’s Warriors of the Deep.

But the Doctor still manages to trade his cricket beiges for a daring new beige outfit and some temporal footwear, though Turlough misses out on an early airing of his budgie smugglers. Tegan’s troubles are more practical than sartorial, however, when she feels the gossamer weight of a sea base door on her lovely legs.

They also encounter the future’s unluckiest intern, a commander who’s a long way from his native 1970s and the leading lights of the power-bloc-which-cannot-be-named’s premier pantomime troop.

Throw in some sweat, smells, sloth-like Silurians and skew-whiff sea devils and it all starts to feel like the end of the world.

So did Jim and Martin take to the story like a Myrka to water or did it leave them drowning in dreck?

Listen to find out.

Direct download: KP117_Warriors_of_the_Deep.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 7:42pm UTC
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