Thu, 15 January 2015
“It's all in there somewhere. Caramel, sherbet, toffee, marzipan, gelling agents, it's all in motion.”
No, not a description of Jim and Martin's stomachs on Christmas night but rather the innards of the Kandy Man, part-time lethal confectioner and full-time Bertie Bassett stunt double.
Yes, we're on Terra Alpha, a dystopian colony ruled over by painted Thatchalike, Helen A, and her gun-toting Hen Party, The Happiness Patrol.
The over-athletic Doctor plays the spoons, the occasionally-catatonic Earl plays the harmonica and horrid old Helen A plays with her Fifi - her hermaphrodite wolf-poodle, that is. We don't know what you were thinking...
The unrealistic streets teem with low-speed traffic and shambling work-shy drones while, underneath, pound-shop Yodas bark unintelligibly about Gordon Bennett.
And the TARDIS turns pink, as do Whovian cheeks when the Kandy Man appears while any Not-We are in the room.
So did Jim Y and Martin Z enjoy watching it? Or was the experience as hollow as Sylv and Sophie's laughter?
Listen in to find out.